Questioner (Q): My question is related to criticism. In the corporate world, we usually hear that we need to take criticism positively, healthy criticism that is. But there could be people around me who are jealous of me and criticize me because of their vested interests. So, how do I recognize whether the criticism is healthy or unhealthy for me?
Acharya Prashant (AP): Initially, you have to let everything in. So, it doesn’t matter who is saying things about you. There could be four categories: somebody is criticizing you unfairly, somebody is criticizing you fairly, somebody is praising you unfairly, and somebody is praising you fairly. Let everything in. Do not be biased right away. Let everything come to you; consider all of it. You don’t have to be insecure to just block a few people in the beginning itself.
So, think over what they are saying, assess the points that they are making, and do it as objectively as possible, without relying too much on where the praise or the condemnation has come from. I know it is not possible to completely forget the source of the praise or criticism. We have the tendency to rely on memory and come from our biases, but try being as objective as possible. Forget who is saying what is being said; just be more attentive to what is being said.
Q: Okay, so I should forget the source of the criticism and focus on the effect it has on me?
AP: Focus on what is coming to you, and that is how you begin. Then, with the passage of time, if you find a pattern emerging, then, for the sake of economizing on time, it might be prudent to give more weightage to the criticism or praise coming from a few particular sources versus the other sources. Not that the fundamental principle of being open to everything stands violated. No, that principle is always valid and that is a supreme principle. Always listen—that is the principle. Always listen.
